Good lord, Sondland has been absolutely humiliating to Democrats

Can you believe that today is Joe Biden’s 77th birthday? Wow, what gift Pelosi gave him.

Anyone who has watched Sondland’s testimony today probably has one question: Who wrote Sondland’s opening statement? Because it definitely wasn’t him.

For an hour, Schiff’s attorneys asked Sondland carefully worded questions starting with “Do you have any reason to doubt….” Not “do you know for a fact” and “how do you know for a fact,” but if I make something up out of thin air, can you contradict it? And he dutifully said no over and over again. In fact, the majority counsel spoke more than Sondland did. He was testifying for Sondland.

When questioned about the contents of his testimony by the GOP, Sondland has disputed almost every point of his own account of events. It’s bonkers.

The Vice President’s office has issued a statement saying that one conversation Sondland says he had with the VP never happened. Like, the whole conversation is imaginary. And you better bet there is an official record of every single person who had ever been in Pence’s company.

Beyond that, Sondland testified that he was so exasperated with Ukraine policy that he asked Trump point-blank, “what the fuck do you want from Ukraine?”

To which Trump replied, “I want nothing. I want nothing. I want no quid pro quo. Tell [the president of the Ukraine] to do the right thing. I want him to do what he ran on.”

In Sondland’s words, the “quid pro quo” that he imagines is not investigating Biden or withholding aid. (Numerous people have pointed out that Trump was a foreign aid skeptic with respect to all countries. He doesn’t think Europe is paying their fair share for the world’s crises.) He outright disputed those characterizations to Schiff and majority counsel, much to their visible frustration. He thinks… gasp… the president declined to have a meeting with the Ukrainian president on the timeline that Sondland thought would be appropriate. Long gone are accusations about the call. Or firing another ambassador and replacing her with someone who thinks exactly as she did on policy. No, now we seeing pretend retaliation in the day planner of the leader of the free world. This is the level of their hysterics now. “I told him to have an in-person meeting before this day, and he did not do it, and to me that is something of value that was withheld.”

GOP counsel asked Sondland why he chose not to include the only relevant, from-the-horse’s-mouth statement on this issue from his opening statement, which was disbursed to the hyenas in the media ahead of time. I wanted to include a lot of other things, he said, but he did not have time. He did not have space to quote the president directly in his opening statements. He did have room to recite his family tree, however.

The Mueller garbage set taxpayers in this country back tens of millions of dollars. That money that you work your ass off for and are sending to the feds? It’s going to this. And now we have a hundred days of bitching and moaning and conspiracy theories about … absolutely fucking nothing, just like Russia Russia Russia.

So far, I think the best account of this whole thing has come from the comedian Greg Gutfeld, which is that Democrats have been treating taxpayers to an episode of The Office. You’ve got a bunch of bitchy low-level bureaucrats who are upset that someone said something mean about them and who think the federal budget should award their bailiwick more money than other departments. They didn’t get their way, and they have a lot of bitching to do because of it. Some of them got axed from their jobs (one is about to be axed from his job, which he admits he only has because he made a lavish campaign contribution to attain it) because they are untrustworthy messengers for policy decisions. And they chose to behave that way of their own free will. They insinuate a lot of stuff but were never actually in high enough a position to know anything, and resentment is fueling their account of pretty much everyone.

At the end of the day, these folks are essentially confirming all of the worst stereotypes that ordinary Americans have about people who work in government. And Sondland is even worse than that.

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