A southern woman’s purse is a bag of holding

My husband is always making fun of the things that I keep in my handbags. And it’s absolutely true – when it comes to my handbag, I have become the stereotypical southern woman who carries everything you can imagine – and a hundred things you can’t – around with her.

Anyway, the quip today was “a southern woman’s purse is a bag of holding,” which only Dungeons and Dragons geeks would grok.

I am still laughing at this:

The bag of holding opens into a nondimensional space: its inside is larger than its outside dimensions. Regardless of what is put into the bag, it weighs a fixed Amount. This weight, and the limits in weight and volume of the bag’s contents, depend on the bag’s type…

If a bag of holding is overloaded, or if sharp objects pierce it (from inside or outside), the bag immediately ruptures and is ruined, and all contents are lost forever. If a bag of holding is turned inside out, all of its contents spill out, unharmed, but the bag must be put right before it can be used again. If living creatures are placed within the bag, they can survive for up to 10 minutes, after which time they suffocate. Retrieving a specific item from a bag of holding is a move action, unless the bag contains more than an ordinary backpack would hold, in which case retrieving a specific item is a full-round action. Magic items placed inside the bag do not offer any benefit to the character carrying the bag.

If a bag of holding is placed within a portable hole, a rift to the Astral Plane is torn in the space: bag and hole alike are sucked into the void and forever lost. If a portable hole is placed within a bag of holding, it opens a gate to the Astral Plane: the hole, the bag, and any creatures within a 10-foot radius are drawn there, destroying the portable hole and bag of holding in the process.

This is quite true. If a southern woman loses her bag of holding and its myriad treasures, it will be a catastrophic event for everyone in the area.

4 thoughts on “A southern woman’s purse is a bag of holding

  1. I legit want a purse shaped like Mary Poppins. Incidentally, I carried an LL Bean backpack for a diaper bag. Everyone called me Dora and made fun of it until I had something they needed in said backpack. I can’t tell you how many booboos, low blood sugar episodes and diaper blowouts I helped take care of with that blue backpack

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Southern women were the original preppers, for sure. No one needs to tell a southern woman to put together a bug-out bag for a natural disaster. She carries it around with her. It just happens to include lipstick and a strand of pearls from that dinner party ages ago.

      Like

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