I seem to have turned into a maskhole

“WE HAVE AN EAR DANGLER!” I screamed, while sitting on the patio at our favorite Mexican restaurant this afternoon.

I have to say, I am a person who is unusually prone to pet peeves, but it comes from living in a land of lemmings. You get a thousand people who all believe the same stupid thing and engage in the same stupid behavior non-stop, and it’s an instant pet peeve for normal people.

My new pet peeve is people who eat in public at restaurants with a mask dangling from one ear. It is disgusting enough seeing people use and reuse cloth masks in the name of hygiene. Putting a piece of fabric across your face, to collect your spit and makeup is pretty much the opposite of hygiene. It’s like snorting the soles of your old boat shoes all day and talking about how clean you’re living.

Our young waitress today removed her face mask to show she had an enormous rash across her face from serving food in the Florida heat mid-summer. Because nothing says good hygiene like an enormous rash.

But nothing tops the people who eat with a mask dangling from their ear. This seems to be a favorite pastime for Boomers, because I have never seen a younger person doing this, like you are so put out by removing that second loop from your face, so you have to eat with it right there. You are so worried about the Armageddon virus and the existential threat it poses you, but you also need a margarita, so you go out to eat. You need to wear a mask, because your ilk has bullied the city council into passing a mask mandate to ensure your very survival while you day drink. And then you shovel nachos into your piehole with that filthy piece of fabric dangling inches away. It’s fucking gross beyond words, like finding a used Band-Aid in your food.

Fortunately, my deliberately rude comment made the chick at the table next to us finally remove her nasty virtue signal and eat like a civilized human being. These are the same people who are put out by young mothers bringing a toddler into the restaurant.

I have sat through enough meals watching old people with masks dangling from their ears now that I’m just going to start talking loudly about how gross they are until they leave the restaurant or I am asked to leave (which isn’t going to happen, because the owners hate the mask Nazis 100x more than I do).

By the way, did you see Fauci posed poolside for the cover of women’s fashion magazine, InStyle? Managing a scamdemic is rough, y’all. Only Angelina Jolie can concern troll at this level.

On the way home, the parking lots of Pier 1 and SteinMart were packed full, with vultures carrying away the last of their inventory, as the mask Nazi old people have done what Amazon could not do to retail. They have absolutely destroyed American neighborhoods with their paranoia, gullibility, and selfishness. Enjoy the blight, old farts, because I am out.

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